You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
