Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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