Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  How bad was it?

  (1-713): View more from Texas

  You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth

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  (713): How bad was it? (1-713): You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth http://tfl.nu/i16m
  Replies (23) Good night (5241) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?

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  (814): Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low? http://tfl.nu/5hhv
  Replies (29) Good night (992) Bad night (4080)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.

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  (602): So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby. http://tfl.nu/ia9y
  Replies (46) Good night (3880) Bad night (1631)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.

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  (+44): You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery. http://tfl.nu/036p
  Replies (7) Good night (1453) Bad night (2212)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.

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  (870): It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis. http://tfl.nu/5xg0
  Replies (5) Good night (2049) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition

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  (765): That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition http://tfl.nu/31mo
  Replies (4) Good night (1942) Bad night (1454)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.

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  (423): take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/qdcc
  Replies (20) Good night (2350) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...

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  (317): Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ... http://tfl.nu/clq5
  Replies (6) Good night (937) Bad night (1908)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.

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  (504): U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life. http://tfl.nu/tysm
  Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (1354)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.

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  (936): I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining. http://tfl.nu/kdvr
  Replies (2) Good night (1491) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor

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  (610): Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor http://tfl.nu/pp4j
  Replies (1) Good night (1012) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.

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  (215): I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames. http://tfl.nu/kido
  Replies (9) Good night (859) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency

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  (905): I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency http://tfl.nu/kfxd
  Replies (2) Good night (396) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?

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  (616): your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial? http://tfl.nu/h7zs
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.

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  (709): I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home. http://tfl.nu/qku9
  Replies (3) Good night (371) Bad night (265)

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