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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.

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• (516): View more from New York

  nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex

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• (253): View more from Washington

  How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?

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• (925): View more from California

  Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  did you know we used to have a pool?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Stories. There's stories.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.

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