Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day

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  (334): Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day http://tfl.nu/yiro
  Replies (3) Good night (1122) Bad night (712)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!

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  (702): the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry! http://tfl.nu/25bg
  Replies (32) Good night (4953) Bad night (1012)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low

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  (615): He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low http://tfl.nu/d44y
  Replies (14) Good night (1133) Bad night (5781)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.

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  (703): I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number. http://tfl.nu/ol2r
  Replies (19) Good night (7087) Bad night (1046)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night

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  (978): My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night http://tfl.nu/zzxc
  Replies (10) Good night (4568) Bad night (990)
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  (805): View more from California

  Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?

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  (805): Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement? http://tfl.nu/mmb3
  Replies (21) Good night (4127) Bad night (1070)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here

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  (315): Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here http://tfl.nu/edol
  Replies (6) Good night (1947) Bad night (1761)
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  (949): View more from California

  Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?

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  (949): Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween? http://tfl.nu/23ri
  Replies (8) Good night (3027) Bad night (601)
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  (+22): View more from

  Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.

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  (+22): Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes. http://tfl.nu/gtep
  Replies (8) Good night (551) Bad night (1718)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan

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  (717): I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan http://tfl.nu/f98a
  Replies (14) Good night (2153) Bad night (717)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.

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  (816): I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs. http://tfl.nu/pv3i
  Replies (4) Good night (912) Bad night (281)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend

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  (203): Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend http://tfl.nu/dbv2
  Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected

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  (518): It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected http://tfl.nu/wv1f
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.

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  (612): I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone. http://tfl.nu/naxz
  Replies (1) Good night (238) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao

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  (561): Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao http://tfl.nu/lnta
  Replies (3) Good night (224) Bad night (415)

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