just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize