He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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