Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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