So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
