looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
