i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
