Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So apparently I’m into choking now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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