it wasn't lemon gatorade
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize