Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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