I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
