it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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