Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
