so explain again why im purple
no
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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