Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
