dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So much Jack, so little girl.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
