But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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