Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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