So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
