there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I could fuck to npr.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
