I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She bit a glass in half.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
