I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
