yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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