Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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