you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
