how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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