i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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