I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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