We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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