i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
