I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My dad just said "fuck circus"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Will exercising make me less horny?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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