I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
