that's an acceptable place to lick
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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