she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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