After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
