I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
