just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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