idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
