i just wanna soil my oats bro
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
