just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
