Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize