So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i dont even know how to be here
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
