I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
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