Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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