How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
