I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
