all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
