Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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