i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
