I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
