Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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