walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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