That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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