Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
