come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
