I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
