I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
