See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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