Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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