I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
