Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
