Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
