i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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