Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
