I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
