sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
