he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
