I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
