you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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